I wasn’t exactly a planned baby, actually quite the opposite! I was born in 1971, not the time period when an unwed, teenage mother was accepted very well. My parents got married like they were suppose to, Mom went to college and my Daddy work up to three jobs. I mostly lived with my grandparents, having my own room at both homes. Holly Hobby decorated both if my faint memory is correct. I was incredibly loved!!
My Grandpa and Grandma were very supportive of my parents. It was never a problem caring for me. I spent quite a bit of time with them in the Outer Banks, at our trailer, back in the woods. Yep, there were alot of woods there back in the day. One of my Grandpa’s and my past times, down there, was catching dragonflies. He taught me that if you caught one you had to let it go immediately because they would disconnect their tail and eventually die. I have never Googled that so I don’t know if that’s true , but he was the smartest man in the world so I’m sure it was! He was a master at it. I remember catching them and freaking out because of how they would react, all buzzy and crazy like, trying to escape.
This is one of MY memories. Not one told to me, but one that my heart and mind remember. He passed away when I was almost five years old. It was traumatic for me. He was my solid. He was my happy, He was my everything. My memory of my youngest years stopped there. I have a few but not very many at all.
Fast forward twenty-five years when I turned thirty. I had a wonderful birthday party with all of my family and friends the night before my actual birth ‘day’ and Danny had to go to an out of town funeral the next morning. I was spending the day cleaning up and hanging out with my children and one of Victoria’s friends.
I was washing dishes, looking out my kitchen window, day dreaming about how many people I had lost in my life and how much they would have loved celebrating with me the night before. I know, kind of odd thoughts but it is what it is. Feeling very melancholy. A couple very strange things happened. I’m gonna share one.
I see an odd swarm come out of the woods behind our house. I looked even harder to see what it was. DRAGONFLIES!!!!! Thousands! I know it sounds like I am exaggerating, but I promise you that I am not! I yelled for the kids to come see this amazing sight, I was so excited I could hardly breath. They came running out of the room to see why I was squealing. They stopped at the sliding door, looked out, looked at me, I looked at them, they looked back outside, then looked back at me. They were less than impressed. I looked back out and realized they had almost disappeared, just like that. They humored me and said “cool” and off they went back to their room. Trevor running behind them in his swishing diaper.
I returned to the sink alittle bummed that it had happened so fast, I regretted not just taking it in in the moment. I went back to the dishes, back to my thoughts, looked up again, and there they were. This time it took my breath away. Grandpa!?
This was for me, just for me. It was my moment. I just stood there with soapy hands, tears streaming down my face, feeling extreme gratitude. “Thank you”, my heart whispered. My mood changed, I finished the dishes and went and played with my children.
We had only lived in our new house in the country for about six months. I now know that we have huge numbers of dragonflies that appear all through the summer. Danny always gets a kick out of them landing on me all of the time. I don’t try to catch them anymore, it still freaks me out. I love them right where they are. And they ALWAYS make my heart smile because I ALWAYS think of my Grandpa and he ALWAYS made everything good for me.
With my heart feeling rather off today, my mind having a hard time concentrating on much of anything, I realize how much I wish it were summer. Because I really could use a dragonfly right now.
Much love and prayers friends!
~Jenni~